i love salt but my kidneys hate me

help!

2007-05-24T10:47:00.001+08:00

oh! blogger works now.
oh well, toooo baaaddddd.
http://saltfrosted.livejournal.com

ha ha ha now i cant decide whether to move or just manage two journals.
life is so full of choices!

but i must tell dear jon:
sorry i used to think you were an animae-freak. OMG, cos i sure as hell understand now.

no pretending invovled.

2007-05-06T22:28:00.000+08:00

so in love.

2007-05-06T22:20:00.000+08:00

i'm jealous.

http://pic-tur-esque.blogspot.com

Caesar

2007-05-06T01:05:00.000+08:00

Julius climbed the hill to address the men he had fought with for nine years in Gaul.
He knew hundreds by name,
and as he reached the crest and steadied himself against the base of the watchtower,
he saw familiar faces waiting for him to speak.
Did they know how weary he was?
He had shared the privations of the march and the battles across Gaul.
They had seen him push himself further than any of them,
going without sleep for days at a time until there was nothing left in him
but an iron will that kept him on his feet.

"I will not ask you to fight for Rome!" he roared out to them.
"What does Rome know of us here?
What does the Senate understand of what we are?
The merchants in their houses, the slaves, the builders,
and the whores have not been with us in our battles.
When i think of Rome, i cannot think of them, so far away.
My brothers are those i see before me."

The words came out easily in front of the legions.
He knew them all and a thin cheer began as they gazed up at the scarlet-cloaked figure.
He could not have explained the bond to a stanger,
but that had never been necessary.
They knew him for what he was.
They had seen him injured with them and exhanusted after a march.
Each man there had a memory of when he had spoken to them
that they treasured more than the silver coins they were paid.

"I will not ask you to fight this last time for Rome.
I will ask it for me," he said,
and they lifted their heads higher to hear him,
the cheering swelling in the ranks.

"Who dares to call themselves Rome while we live?
The city is just stone and marble without us.
We are is blood and its life.
We are its purpose."

"When our hearts and arms are tired, we go on," Julius roared at them.
"When our stomachs are emtpy and our mouths dry, we go on."
He paused again and smiled down at them.
"Now, gentlemen, we are professionals.
Shall we cut these bastard amatuers to pieces?"

They clashed their swords and shields together
and every throat bellowed their approval.

Conn Iggulden
Emperor

the death of kings

2007-05-05T16:38:00.000+08:00

i was searching my room for my passport today
and guess what,
i stumbled upon some old unfinished diaries.
Naturally, i read every line in every page,
and i have come to the conclusion that -
i used to be so pathetically naive.

alright, maybe some traces of it still linger,
but goodness, i am so embarrassed of old me.

flashes of my life appeared and disappeared while i read on,
then reappeared again.
It was refreshing and amusing, yet painful.

to nobody's surprise, the name that begins with the letter J
popped out everywhere i looked.
some made me smile in reminiscence, and some others i had to look away.

then there was another J word, with seven letters - jepenga.
and neoprints that were stuck on to the pages.
Looking back, things used to be so simple, so carefree.
Life had only one straight path to walk down.
Now, there seem to be so many forks in the road.

making friends and losing them,
falling in love and breaking up,
laughing and weeping,
fighting and patching up,
studying and failing,
math and science,
rule breaking and uniforms,
exams
then graduation.

what does the future hold?
i'm guessing it's just gonna be a more complicated version of the same.

the same shit, on a different day.
surprise me.

Afrodisiac

2007-05-05T16:11:00.000+08:00

Please take me by the hand
it's so cold out tonight.
I'll put blankets on the bed
I won't turn off the lights
just don't forget
to think about me
and i won't forget you.

Here's your valentine bouquet
of clumsy words,
a simple melody.

This world's an ugly place,
but you're
so beautiful
to me.

gray sky blues

2007-05-04T14:28:00.000+08:00

It's been overcast
for more than
a week now.

Heavy clouds hang low
like a thick gray soup
boiling overhead.

I'm gray
through and through.
Even my thoughts are gray.

If i cut a finger
I'd bleed
gray blood.

No sign of sun.
No sign of blue sky.
No sign of you.

i don't know how to tell Dylan.

2007-05-04T13:50:00.000+08:00

i used
to think i was
in love
with him.

But that
must have been
a different him.
Or maybe a different me.

Because
when i look at him now
i see a friend,
not a boyfriend.

And when he kisses me,
all i feel is
the overwhelming
overness of it.

//

When Dylan cried,
i felt way more powerful
than i wanted to feel.

I started crying too.
I couldnt help it.

And then we hugged each other
tighter than we ever had before,
knowing that we never would again.

//

We said we'd still be friends, but

Whenever Dylan sees me
he pretends he doesnt notice
and he tosses both his arms
around the nearest pretty girl.

Whenever i see Dylan
i kneel down to tie my shoelace
or start searching through my backpack
like i've lost my favourite pen.

When we can't avoid each other
Dylan acts so glad to see me --
only now he calls me sophie.
I'm not sapphire anymore.

where are you now

2007-05-01T20:39:00.000+08:00

It isn't about having what i want,

it's about wanting what i've got.

And i've got you, jav.

I love you.

long lost memories

2007-04-17T12:46:00.000+08:00

There was a crooked man and he walked a crooked mile,

He found a crooked sixpence upon a crooked stile.

He bought a crooked cat, which caught a crooked mouse.

And they all lived together in a little crooked house.

a day of pride

2007-04-16T22:51:00.000+08:00

only two days after the astonishingly well-went birthday bash, came the glorious passing out parade, otherwise known as the P-O-P wheee.

i proudly present to you all, (ex)Recruit Yong, now preferred to be titled THE OCIFFER.

(and no, there is no typo error there)

but i must say i am crazy proud of my little ociffer, despite those words never said aloud.

way-to-go jav!

http://pic-tur-esque.blogspot.com

11th March 2007

2007-04-16T22:48:00.000+08:00

also known as, my boyfriend's birthday.

as always, i am too lazy to recount the events that jam-packed his short weekend bookout

so here are the photos of his surprise birthday party taken from michy. (:

i wish i had brought my digicam with us to the italian restaurant that overlooked the sea the night before. but too bad! i guess that is a memory only jav and i share. ha ha.

ah well, without further adooo,

pictures HERE.

PS. zonghao and jav have VERY white teeth. so beware, put your sunglasses on if you must.

faith like a child.

2007-04-11T20:45:00.000+08:00

I know how much I need you now
The time is turning back somehow
As soon as our hearts and souls unite
I know for sure we'll get the feeling right

This time we'll chase all the rain away
Welcome home my lover and friend

Mcdreamy is mine.

2007-04-05T14:00:00.000+08:00

MANCANDY: Justin Chambers, Patrick Dempsey & Eric Dane.

CHIC-CANDY: Kate Walsh, Ellen Pompeo & Katherine Heigl

another reason to watch grey's.

drool.

pop goes my heart

2007-04-05T13:53:00.000+08:00

These precious moments, we have so few.

behind blue eyes;

2007-04-03T17:40:00.000+08:00

people who havent watched grey's anatomy, should watch it.

especially if you feel that life sucks.
like how you listen to a sad song to beat your crappy day.

you can cry your heart out watching it, yet, at the same time,
it can make you laugh out loud.
as if the characters in the show are real, leading their crappy lives,
just like you.

then suddenly, life doesnt seem so bad anymore.
because we're all going through it together,
that's what makes it worthwhile.

and at the end of the day,
it's about the people who love you
and the people you want to stay close to -
who matter.

maybe pain is there, for a reason.

sweet escape

2007-04-02T14:03:00.000+08:00

If I could escape & recreate a place that's my own world

& I could be your favourite girl forever,

Perfectly together

Tell me boy now wouldn't that be sweet?

Boys stink, throw rocks at them.

2007-04-02T09:28:00.000+08:00

Some men think monogamy is what furniture is made of.

Insights into a male brain (or the lack thereof).

Promiscuity is wired into a man's brain and is a legacy of his evoluntionary past. Throughout human history, wars greatly diminished the numbers of men so it made sense to add to the size of the tribe as often as possible. The number of men returning from battle was usually lower than at the start. This meant that there was always a large number of widows, so creating a harem for the returning males was an effective survival strategy for the tribe. This is the way it was for hundreds of years. In addition, modern man is still equipped with a large hypothalamus (centre in your brain for sex) and enormous amounts of testosterone to fulfil his ancient urge to procreate. The reality is that men, like most primates and other mammals, are not biologically inclined to complete monogamy (Sad bitter truth Part I).

It has to be understood however, that in discussing men's urge to be promiscuous, we are talking about biological inclinations. We are not providing men with excuse for infidelity.

e.g. The brain circuitry of a moth gives it an instinctive attraction towards bright lights and this allows the moth to navigate at night using the stars and moon. Unfortunately, the modern moth is also living in a world that is dramatically different to the one in which it evolved. We now have moth and mosquito zappers. By doing what is natural and instinctive, the modern moth flies into the zapper and is incinerated instantly.

In understanding their biological urges, modern man have a choice of avoiding self-incineration as a result of doing what comes naturally.

The Sad bitter truth (Part II).
A rooster is a very randy male bird which can copulate with hens almost incessantly, more than 60 times in a given mating. He cannot however, mate with the same hen more than five times in one day. By the sixth time, he completely loses interest and cant 'get it up' but, if presented with a new hen, he can mount her with the same enthusiasm he did with the first.
A ram will not mount the same ewe more than five times, but can continue to mount new ewes with tremendous zeal. Even when the ram's former sexual partnersare disguised with perfume or bags over their heads, the ram still cannot perform. You just can't fool them. This is natures's wary of ensuring that the male's seed is spread as widely as possible to ensure the survival of that species.
For healthy young men, that number is also around five. On a good day, he can have sex with the same woman five times but will usually fail to give a sixth encore. Introduce a new female however, and, like roosters and rams, his interest (along with parts of his anatomy) can ripidly rise.

baby when you're gone

2007-03-31T19:12:00.000+08:00

Yet another meaningless week, another fallen star, another forlorn face.

In my dreams i'm searching, always searching.
For something i can never seem to find.
Some meaning, some faith - a reason to get through, day after day.
Until now i never got lost, because you were there.

But these days that you're not around, i feel so much more alone than i've ever been.

What if you get off at the next stop

Would you just wave as I'm drifting off

And if I never saw you again

Could I keep all of this inside

little superhero girl

2007-03-14T17:58:00.000+08:00

this is all wrong.
i didnt envision it to be like this.
in my head, it was so much more perfect.

you and i,
so much more perfect.

words unspoken

2007-03-04T02:09:00.000+08:00

Sorry wasnt good enough

A song without meter and rhyme

A long forgotten promise i recalled i made to you

A candle flame dies in the wind

It looks like it's about to rain, about to rain.

Spirals from your cigarette

Your sweet cologne on my pillow

Messages you left me still sing like some lullaby

Pretty pictures on the wall

Hopes in us will rise and fall, rise and fall.

And in the rain

In summer days too

When the willow tree weeps too

Under the street light so bright

I'll remember you everyday.

The plane leaves in an hour's time

Hold me till our last goodbye

Silence is the only sound

No words can speak it through

I'll breathe your breath for one last time

You'll be strong and so will i, so will i.

And in the rain

In summer days too

When the willow tree weeps too

Under the street light so bright

I'll remember you, everyday.

Baby, there's something about you.

2007-03-01T09:23:00.000+08:00

love is a funny thing.
it really is.

it's oddly amazing how a person can make you feel so complete
just by holding your hand.
how strange that something as effortless as a hug
creates a flutter in your heart.

yet that same person,
without having to say a word,
can break your fragile heart.

love is a funny thing, it is.

it's a warm and fuzzy feeling inside.
blessed, delight, content-

yet love hurts, they say.
dejection, betrayal, forlorn.

so how will it go down?
-just like that,
love is a queer thing.

(okay mel this entry is for you, well, not FOR you. but for you to read. i know you like arty farty, so i tried to make this as artyfarty as i could without sounding like a moron. but i bet i do. ha ha.)

I'd rather have bad times with you, than good times with someone else
I'd rather be beside you in a storm, than safe and warm by myself
I'd rather have hard times together, than to have it easy apart
I'd rather have the one who holds my heart.

and that's how i love you j.

fields of gold.

2007-02-13T20:30:00.000+08:00

Forever is the strangest thing:
It's shorter than you think.
It starts at any time you like
And ends in just a wink.

You can forever be: right now
Is just as good as then.
The moment is quite all there is,
No matter where or when.

The moment is eternity,
And now is just a dream.
We see our lives in futures past,
But that's just how things seem.

happy birthday to felicia darling.

2007-02-04T23:30:00.000+08:00

the girls and boys i luff berry berry much.

http://pic-tur-esque.blogspot.com

dearest pamela.

2007-02-04T20:51:00.000+08:00

we really love you girl,
and we dont want to lose you like this.

we may have been selfish,
but we all have our faults and flaws are abundant,
and i pray you can accept them as they are.

we've been through so much together, the few of us.
and in this time, i'd like to believe that we've grown to look past our differences.
we're not kids anymore, and i know that we're capable of being mature when the need arises.
and momentarily, there is that need.

it may seem like we've abandoned you, but in reality we havent.
this friendship is not as weak as you perceive or describe it to be,
and i resent that you believe so.

we're gonna have to get through this together, and i believe you want to.
unless you want to hate us forever. (please dont)

and just in case you've misunderstood, we do not put our other half before our friends.
its just a matter of who needs us more
and if right now you need us, we'll be around.
dont you dare doubt that.

circumstances may have changed, but trust me we havent.
and you are not our plan B, so don't say that.

i want us to be okay, and we will.
it's your call.

2007-02-04T20:23:00.001+08:00

maybe i am non-stick and i just don't know it. but i love you.

Mummy.

2007-01-26T00:39:00.000+08:00

i was having a very pleasant and rejuvenatng slumber (after a week's worth of waking up at 6.15 and work) - until ~~the~~ my mother had to come ~~barging~~ gliding in, ~~chiding me for my obvious inability to comprehend the absolute importance of bathing~~ reminding me to bathe before sleeping.

She came in 4 ~~fcking~~ times. - ~~piercing the air with an annoying i-am-your-mother-and-thus-have-ultimate-power screams, just~~ persuading me to wake up because she saw unremoved makeup on my face.

eventually i got down to washing my face and ~~can no longer go back to my so beautifully undisturbed sleep~~ i am grateful that my mother cares.

she is ~~virulent spreading poison~~ a lovely woman.

i just wanna be where you are.

2007-01-23T21:25:00.000+08:00

There is none like you,
No one else can touch my heart like you do.
I could search for all eternity long
And find - there is none like you.

Wednesday's child is full of woe.

2007-01-23T20:09:00.000+08:00

you are such a prick.

there are people who make life a lot more bearable.
and then there are the contrary.

so thank you god for the petals, for their presence make the PRICK of the thorns a lot more bearable.

Today is tuesday, where monday blues still linger and the weekend is just too far away.
i miss you j.

meaningless

2007-01-16T18:07:00.000+08:00

lab·y·rinth / [lab-uh-rinth]
–noun

1. an intricate combination of paths or passages in which it is difficult to find one's way or to reach the exit.

slide.

2007-01-11T01:23:00.000+08:00

i wanna wake up where you are.

may you put your arms around me

and make my world stop spinning.

http://pic-tur-esque.blogspot.com

the armyboy

2007-01-03T03:16:00.000+08:00

when will i get used to this?

toomanythingstoolittlespace

2007-01-03T02:20:00.000+08:00

the past few days summed up in a word - lovely.

31st Dec
spent the day at home with jj, my brother and his girl, mom and dad.
had ice cream at ice cube with jav then headed down to mind cafe.
mel surprised me with a cake and a hell lot of other pple who's pictures you will find later on.
and i really liked their company.
but soon after they left hun jon tocks jav and i to play our monopoly STARWARS edition.
followed by many other weirdass games which turned out to be a load of laughter
(waka-waka-waka) new phrase only we will understand. (:
0330 headed down to marina mandrin to meet up with kev
mode of transport: feet on heels. (my feet and the heels did an amazing job i must say)
walked more to esplanade which ended up nowhere
and i took the cab home with jj and he stayed the night
sleeping in the living room with me, sadly.
highlight of the night: THE CAMERA.
my beautiful present from all the people who love me and esp from jav.
THANK YOU ALL. it is perfect.

1st Jan
japanese lunch the the fairy godmother and my cousin at chijmes
some shopping which did not end up futile because i made a good buy at marina sq.
then dinner at brewerks with jav, the family and its new entry, chloe.
fantastic dinner which everybody ate too much.
jav came home with us and played winning with my bro tilll he had to go home
and that ended the night.

2nd Jan
the whole day with jav before he booked back into camp
his place for lunch (thumbs up to his grandma's cooking)
then beachroad to get some army stuff
where i stumbled upon the coolest vintage shop
and couldnt resist wanting to buy a very pretty little box bag.
and javie got it for me at a haggled price of 25 dollars! yay.
my boyfriend is the coolest.
headed back to his home and had dinner with his family (who have taken to calling me jan-ice)
and sent him off at pasir ris.

3 wonderfully fulfilling days, happy happy.
esp with new camera.
PICTURES LOADED FROM MY VERY COOL NEW CAMERA HERE.

http://pic-tur-esque.blogspot.com

at the zoo

2006-12-27T23:52:00.000+08:00

yes i know this entry is so very long overdue,
but well at least it serves as a memory of javier's hair 8 days before the barber chopped it all -
7th Dec 2006.
which also happens to be our very special day. (:
taking me to the zoo was another one of jj's very clever tricks (he has many, all the better).
and those who know me (well enough) can easily comprehend why that is so.
i love ALL the animals in the zoo! (primate kingdom not included)
and thus that wasnt part of our route, unless we had to bypass it to go somewhere cool like cat city, where i would close my eyes and try not to listen to their evil woo-ah-ah calls.
i'm too lazy to rant on about the entire day because that would take far too much memory recalling energy and blogspace.
THEREFOR, i'll let the pictures do the talking for me.
http://pic-tur-esque.blogspot.com

oh but one thing i find really interesting, is that you can find these little buggers in our very own Singapore Zoo. totally g-r-o-s-s.

my dictionary

2006-12-27T02:10:00.000+08:00

hate [heyt] - verb
to dislike intensely or passionately; feel extreme aversion for or extreme hostility toward; detest ~ i hate that jav has to be in the army and i'll only get to see him on weekends.

miss [mis] - verb
to regret the absence or loss of (boyfriend who had to go) ~ I miss jav oh-so-dreadfully.

desire [di-zahyr] –verb or noun
1. to wish or long for (boyfriend who cannot be around because he is in tekong); crave; want.
2. to express a wish to obtain; ask for; request ~ I desire javier's heavenly comforting presense.
3. a craving, for something that brings enjoyment and happiness (whose absence is accompanied by melancholy and sadness which results in obsessive blogging about subject).

miserable [miz-er-uh-buh] -adjective
1. wretchedly unhappy or uncomfortable ~ i am so miserable without him.
2. accompanied by great discomfort or distress ~ a miserable wait of 2 years.
3. dreadfully inadequate ~ a miserable amount of talk-time allowed from javier.

THIS SUCKS, OH YEAH IT DOES.

anticipate

2006-12-26T20:13:00.000+08:00

christmas is gone, paving way for the new year
(and of course the day i turn eighteen as well)

waiting for you to come home to me darling.

like fluffy slippers

2006-12-23T01:05:00.000+08:00

Greeting cards have all been sent

The Christmas rush is through

But I still have one more wish to make

A special one for you.

Merry Christmas Darling,

We're apart and that's true

But I can dream and in my dreams,

I'm Christmas-ing with you.

A day and a half more.

Had our little jepenga christmas party today. And it was a splendid little party i must say. It was simple, and cosy, and most importantly - loving. God did a good job, making all 7 of us so different yet piecing us together like a pretty jigsaw puzzle that fit so snug that it wont ever fall apart. (: hear that natalie dearest?

we dont leave our friends behind.

confessions

2006-12-20T21:56:00.000+08:00

1. If people had to go to prison for spending WAY out of budget, i should start packing.
2. i bought a pair of stilettos one size too small.
3. i stole 10 bucks from my dad
4. i want to buy another pair of shoes out of pure greed and vanity
5. i have not gone for compulsory pre-christmas confession

and many more which i cant think of right now.
I am so guilty.

so, sue me.

Decorations of red
on a green Christmas tree
Won't mean a thing if
you're not here with me.

rawrr.

2006-12-20T21:49:00.000+08:00

she's so fab.

2006-12-17T00:05:00.000+08:00

met mel today and shopped with her.
she is really the most gracious and generous person ever
and i am lucky and glad to have her as one of my friends.
i really do appreciate her. (mel are you reading this)
i am not one for mush, but she is really a loyal pal.
though at times she may be fierce and slightly unreasonable,
but i know that in whatever she does,
she puts the best interests of the people she loves before her own.
and i respect her for that.
Ready? ok! M-E-L-I-S-S-A!!!!!

we bought a dress and altered it but i can only go collect next friday.
but i should count my blessings. thank you mellios.
and it was nice hanging with mel's pals yunhua and ivan. (:
all in all, it was a well spent day.
and i got to talk to jj for 15 min which is better than nothing.
his hair is gone and i cant wait to see it.
i miss him so much i keep playing out the possible scenarios of our next meeting in my head.
ha ha. classic.
the slow-mo run towards each other with our arms wide open preparing for the longest embrace of our lives.

yeah, right.

the green men came to take him and they marched away.
them fckrs.

there he goes.

2006-12-15T21:32:00.000+08:00

visited the tekong resort today to send jj off.
the journey where boys become MEN (apparently so on the saf booklet)
but i must say he was quite a lucky lad - having the company of 5 ladies.
beginning with the one who wields the most power:
grandmother, mother, aunt, sister and girlfriend.
there was a lot of fussing about but he got many kisses too when we had to part.
i bet more than any other guy who was there today. (:
it was all really quite the sugarsweet.
his family is really one tight unit, i've never seen anything like it.
except in seventh heaven, but less cheesy.
j's family members are really nice and good people, and i half wish my family's like that.
i'm too lazy to describe laboriously what i saw there, cos thats not the important bit.
javier, the star, was stolen from us girls when we reached the island and we all sulked for a bit before we were all dragged along for the tour.
honestly i was more interested in spending more time with my boyfriend but oh well.
anyhowm, the tour wasnt as bad as i expected.
i wasnt left out because like i mentioned, his grandma-mum-aunt-sis are really cool and have my kinda sense of humour.
when we finally got to see him again we were all smiles!
spent our last hour or so with the superstar and then had to do one of the hardest things -
saying goodbye.
but of course that hour consisted of more fussing about and phototaking and kisses.
then when the time came, we said our goodbyes, to him and his hair. -pout.
i shall just have to take comfort in the thought that he's coming back on christmas. yayness.
but only for 24 hours. no yay. but i cant wait.
until then, nine smses a night will have to do.

i would love to blog about mambo night the other day but this post is getting hideously long.
so zip zip here it is: MAMBO NIGHT MEL JAV & FRIENDS LOVEDIT.
and of course the 7th of december when he asked.
but i'll save that for another day when my sis is done uploading the pics.

yong xian jie javier

2006-12-14T04:41:00.000+08:00

the man and love of my life.

i will miss you,
the way you're always late cos you have to wax yr hair,
how you can hold me in yr arms and the world doesnt seem so evil anymore,
your funny milky smell,
your stubby toes,
your signature ever so funky dance moves,
your dimple (of course),
your dashing smile,
your almost non-existent eyes and the way they can still warm me up inside,
your hair (and i know you'll miss them too),
you dressing up and not knowing what to wear (you wont have to fuss about it soon),
most of all your company,
the corny jokes and cheesy lines,
and how you can always make me laugh.

oh jav, what would i be without you?
just another gobshite i suppose.
you make this gobshite look good sweetheart.

and what would i do without you?
be a gobshite.
who will i call in the wee hours of the morning when i awake from a bad dream?
who will make me sad yet stop at nothing to make me happy?
who will take my hand and tell me its okay when other gobshites make me sad?
oh dear, i'm scaring myself.
somehow 9 smses a night doesnt seem enough.

its definitely not enough.

i've known you like what 5 years?
and we didnt just 'know' each other, it was a bond we shared with no one else
which will remain ever so special.
we've seen each other through everything,
family trauma, relationship issues (between ourselves and with other people),
we've fallen in love and fallen out of love so on and so forth,
but beneath all that, what really held us together was that something special i cannot describe.
and i can say that it is more than love that we share.

yeah i know its only 3 goddamn weeks what the heck
but i will miss you.
and i want you to know that.
only because i havent been showing it
and i know you do wonder from time to time whether i feel the same way as you.
i feel it j, i do.
i'm just not really the kind for sweet nothings and candyflavoured superfluousness.
but for you i'm gonna say:
I HEART YOU. (:

a happy bunch, thats what we are.

2006-12-12T22:16:00.000+08:00

YESSS. i have managed to resize tocks damned 1.4mb photos.
since she is sunning herself at the kelong
i'll do the honours of uploading these.
http://pic-tur-esque.blogspot.com
oh how the beach beckons.

hun: oh where oh where has my papa gone? i miss you so. anyhow, i hope you're not becoming a stick on a diet of greens. love and condolences from this sunny and better smelling environment without vegetarian constraints.

mel: when are you coming back my long lost girl? do tell asap. the red carpet awaits!

on a more solemn note, a random thought, an excerpt from the book i'm reading, the other side of the story by Marian Keyes.
"Little by little my vision darkened until all i saw was the bloodiness of human beings and our woeful flaws. We ruin everything we touch. What is so wrong with us that we rush into situations to which we are manifestly unsuited, which will hurt us and hurt others? Why are we given emotions which we cannot control and which move in exact contradiction to what we really want? We are walking conflicts, internal battles on legs and if human beings were cars, we would return them for being faulty. Why do we have such a finite capacity for pleasure but an infinte one for pain? We're a cosmic joke, i decided. A cosmic experiment which had gone wrong."

linger

2006-12-10T21:26:00.000+08:00

today was book worm club day.
and down to the beach tomorrow.
i so love my friends.
hun, you're missing out man yO!

hey ya'll, when hun comes back we'll have board games day again yeah?
onz or notz?
muackzz, kekexx.
with love always, jan.

i just want to live like this forever,
in a world where we'll never grow old
and never part.

EYECANDY

2006-12-09T23:55:00.000+08:00

Name: Fredrik Ljungberg
Born: April 16, 1977
Vittsjo, Sweden
Position: Attacking Midfielder for Arsenal FC
Squad Number: 8
also a CK model
and my eyecandy.

Girls, he's mine. Rowrr.

ladies, eat your heart out.

2006-12-08T23:36:00.000+08:00

THE VICTORIA'S SECRET RUNWAY MODELS.

everyone pick your favourite.
i left heidi out cos i couldnt find good shots of her doing the victoria's secret runway shows.
besides i don't really like her face.

I LOVE GISELE BUNDCHEN.
it's just something about her.
adriana and alessandra are HOT HOT HOT
but gisele, ooh fire.

and victoria's secret lingerie, perfect.
oh gimme some.

things that last

2006-12-08T19:52:00.000+08:00

watched love actually with the girls the other day at pam's place.

though it lasted probably only a few hours,
i had a pretty cosy and comforting time.

as always, we all cooed at the very well known scene where the guy tells keira knightly that she's perfect.
(oh, how very sweet)
and we had pizza while we talked about everything and anything.

and of course i cannot forget magic and his antics some may find quite adorable.
one grumpy white ball of fur who can behanve quite coquettishly to get some pizza.
but to me (the animal lover), pam's cat is a pretty thing.

too bad carolyn wasnt there though, she wouldve spiced up the gathering abit.
or should i say her drama would even if she doesnt. ha.

and nat, i do miss her.
i deamt of her last night actually.
that she came back and popped out of nowhere, yeah i do miss her.
i want to shout out to her: WHERE THE EFFING HELL ARE YOU BABE?
and i wish she'd reply from wherever she is: I'M FCKING HERE YOU BIATCH!
but i know that its an impossibility, a dream that will remain a wish in my sleep.

JEPENGA is missing one of its Es, darling.
and i am missing you, pretty Natalie Kow.

i wish you love.

2006-12-08T00:07:00.000+08:00

Come away with me and we'll kiss
On a mountaintop
Come away with me
And I'll never stop lovin' you

I want to wake up with the rain
Falling on a tin roof
While I'm safe there in your arms
So all I ask is for you
To come away with me in the night
Come away with me.

i want to hold your hand.

my idea of a bad pickup line

2006-12-06T22:13:00.000+08:00

Hey, are those moon pants you're wearing?

Cause your ass is out of this world!

the men dont get it.

2006-12-05T03:23:00.000+08:00

He's so cute isnt he? His eyes, his hair, his personality. Yeah, but most things end and its better to know how in advance. Here, love warnings from the stars!

ARIES
The Good: He's a chauvinist, which turns you on because until recently you were dating a guy who drank flavoured coffee.
The Bad: Wait until he starts asking you where his dinner is.
The Ending: Babe, you're the best, but he's got room for a lot more notches on his belt.

TAURUS
The Good: He's smart, shy, a secret pervert.
The Bad: He'll make you miserable if your relationship doesn't go the way he wants.
The Ending: Mixed signals-- he'll leave you, come back, leave you, come back. When you've finally got enough, expect to do all the dirty work.

GEMINI
The Good: He likes to chew the rag even more than your best friend.
The Bad: All this talk never goes anywhere.
The Ending: He's such a flake, he'll probably forget to deliver an "it's over" speech.

CANCER
The Good: Sensitive, sex-obsessed, the perfect scam.
The Bad: He's completely anal and ridiculously insecure.
The Ending: If you dump him, he'll obsess about you forever. If you dont, expect to be smothered to death.

LEO
The Good: He acts like he's already famous.
The Bad: He treats you like just another fan.
The Ending: Imagine trying to get your way with madonna-- a consummate Leo-- but add a penis to the mix.

VIRGO
The Good: He's preppy, self-deprecating and practical.
The Bad: Therapy five times a week would only scratch the surface.
The Ending: He's defensive, so he goes on the offensive. Be prepared for a tongue lashing [and no, not the good kind].

LIBRA
The Good: Isn't he adorable? Thoughtful, Kind, soft-spoken...
The Bad:... which is only a ruse to hide how insanely jugemental he is.
The Ending: A dissertation on exactly what you've dont wrong, what you've both done wrong, that will make you want to kill yourself.

SCORPIO
The Good: He's charismatic and holds back enough to keep you interested.
The Bad: Hello, psycho! Scorpio's temper is from hell!
The Ending: Encourage him to express his anger via email, then cancel your hotmail account, change your phone number and move far, far away.

SAGITTARIUS
The Good: All the other girls want him, but he chooses you.
The Bad: That's what you think-- he cheats.
The Ending: Don't expect him to go through a mourning period-- he'll have someone else lined up way before the door hits you in the rear.

CAPRICORN
The Good: He's a suit-and-tie guy-- self-possessed, intelligent, goal oriented.
The Bad: He thinks doggie style is risque and is looking for a throphy wife.
The Ending: Unless you live up to his expectations, you'll get the old heave-ho in a public place or via fax.

AQUARIUS
The Good: Supercool hippie vibe where you love the one you're with.
The Bad: He's a hypocrite who has big ideas about how people should behave that he doesn't apply to himself.
The Ending: If you don't have a lot in common, run for your life.

PISCES
The Good: Sweet, dreamy, full of compliments.
The Bad: Basically asks every girl he goes out with, "Are you my mommy?"
The Ending: You'll never have your heart eaten out by anyone nicer. Expect the best of table manners.

such a doll

2006-12-03T23:43:00.000+08:00

PROM NIGHT: an excuse to dress up and be narcissistic.

knee length oriental print cheongsam: $90
alteration: $25
pointed black heels: my own
earrings: jav's sister's
hair stylist: stella and myself
makeup artist: me
manicurist: stel and tab
bag: no bag. (credit to hwee for keeping my stuff for me)
snapshots: PRICELESS. (almost like everything else)

:)

i'll always remember.

2006-12-02T00:23:00.000+08:00

I wouldn't leave you in times of trouble

We never could have come this far

I took the good times, I'll take the bad times

I'll take you just the way you are.

I said I love you, and that's forever

And this I promise from the heart

I could not love you any better

I love you just the way you are.

close to heart

2006-10-18T13:09:00.000+08:00

class of 2T06 '2006
esp to jared, XA, bren, DCDC, charlesmana, jerm, kai and hy with the u
god, i will miss you all.
i cant imagine how my two years would be like w/o you guys.
it was really enjoyable having you guys around.
the noise, the chatter, the in between class shit and the breaks.
bighands: i'll be your arm rest, anywhere anytime.
anan: face it, you have two younger sisters and i'm one of them.
bren: your hands are wrinkled. but i'll miss them.
DC!: you are so corny.but i like lah.
lesmana: you are one of a kind. i wanna see your kungfu kick video.
jermmm: everyone needs to have a jerm in their class.
kai: dont EVER get rid of that laugh. its hilarious
HY: babeee. you dont know it,but you are really cute in your own ditzy way. dont worry its good thing.
LOVE.

esp to hwee and stel
i dont even know where to start.
i dont want either of you to leave! nooooooo
my bench mates, it was utter bliss being with you two.
the humour the wit the sincerity,
the apples, microwave, sausages, sudoku, boggle
i'll never find anywhere else.
so i wish you two the best overseas
stel: go pursue your dreams no matter how absurd you think they are.
i want to see you get famous miss designer girl.
hwee: oei you. dont worry so much. all will be good. just follow your heart.
you will be a successful and rich trader!

to hun, kevin, bing, jon, keith, sherm, tocks
dont think i have to say much right?
you know i love you.

lastly, i just need to say,
CJ SUCKED.
but you all made life so much more bearable.
thank you.
very much.

these memories i'll hold, close to my heart.

MELISSA

2006-10-18T13:04:00.000+08:00

hey girl, i dreamt about you yesterday. how weird. i dreamt that i bumped into you somewhere, i cant remember where now, but i bumped into you, literally. cos you didnt tell me you were back so i didnt know haha. and then i was so happy i hugged you to bits. then you thought i was really weird. haha haha. anyway, the end of the yr is coming. hope you come back for christmas sweetchick.

with love, jan the pig who forgot your birthday.

janice is a pig because she forgot mel's birthday.

2006-09-21T16:54:00.000+08:00

I AM SO TERRIBLY SORRY MELLIOS!!!!
PLS PLS PLS FORGIVE MEEEEEEEEEEEEE
i deserve to be squashed under a petri dish.
i love you very much and i'm sorry i didnt wish you!

HAPPY BELATED BIRTHDAY BABE,
to the world's prettiest, greatest and hopefully most forgiving friend
when i earn my own money i'll buy you a snowglobe, nice and round one.

at night, i'm broken

2006-09-09T00:16:00.000+08:00

Car crashes, TV shows
A drunkard on the side of the road
People running;
Fantasy or reality
Analysis and theories
What does matter, really?
Tell me what to believe
Won't you bring me order.

round and round we go about the merry go round

2006-09-08T17:47:00.000+08:00

Gone, like Frank Sinatra, like Elvis and his mom,

Like Al Pacino's cash, nothing lasts in this life.

i just want to breathe

2006-09-08T16:01:00.000+08:00

i dont know what is going on inside my head ok
so STOP ASKING ME.

i know i screwed up midway,
i know i couldve prevented things from turning out the way they have
and i know i brought this shite not only upon myself
but on you and you as well
but feck it, i'm human too and i damn well make mistakes that i dont know how to deal with
so forgive me for having brought this tragedy upon us.
it was not intentional nor pre-planned.

i am fickle and irresponsible i dont deny
and i'm terrible at cleaning up my own mess.
so god help me. i dont know what to do.

In case you failed to notice

In case you failed to see

This is my heart bleeding before you

This is me down on my knees

These foolish games are tearing me apart.

random fantasies

2006-09-08T15:37:00.001+08:00

Greece.

somebody please take me there.
i think it's beautiful.

greece with Otters.
if only.
i want one.
its adorable.

Drizzling in greece with my pet otter.
ooh-la-la.
i'll live there
for the rest of my life.

These foolish things, remind me of you

how to create a janjan (updated version 06)

2006-09-08T15:37:00.000+08:00

1. a box of jepenga
2. an abundance of God
3. 5 cauldrons of harry potter
4. 1 wardrobe-full of clothes
5. a sky full of sunshine
6. a handful of drizzle
7. 2 pages full of smiley scribbles
8. a bouquet of daisies
9. 3 purple-coloured fruitips
10. 1/2 a bag of sea-water scent
11. radio full of class 95
12. anything red
13. bathtub full of bubbles
14. a cupboard full of chick-lit
15. a mini-schnauzer by the name of baby

and not forgetting a daily dose of SALT

run away

2006-09-08T15:36:00.000+08:00

Everything is so complicated
the more i try to grasp an understanding, the more it slips away
why do we do the things we do;
comprehension seems like an impossibility.

oh doesnt life suck.

i'm almost 18
and i still dont know what i want out of life,
nor do i know exactly what i'm living for.
floating with the tide seems so much easier..
call it escapism all you want, but i prefer it to be known otherwise.

ha. okay fine, escapism.
but i like it.
i think i like going where the tide takes me.
bad thing? not always right?

The great are only great

when others see them as such.

But those who are truly powerful, are powerful,

regardless of how they are seen.

chase

2006-09-08T15:35:00.001+08:00

if i lay here
if i just lay here
would you lie with me

and just forget the world.

back from outerspace

2006-09-08T15:35:00.000+08:00

MY GOD, WHERE HAVE I BEEN?

earth sure looks different now.
for someone who used to be pretty smooth with html,
i really am a tech freak.

SO HELLO WORLD! its me and i'm back yay!
i feel so inadequate ha.
i'm a noob all over again!
what to say what to write
*ruffles hair in agony

seriously, how is this supposed to be like?
entries arent just about what i ate and who i hung out with anymore!
its all about intellectual property now.
oooooh. but i have nothing intellectual to say. rats.

pardon this lack of wisdom.
today, i take on the role of - a small girl of few words.
although most who know me will say otherwise.
(okay, maybe not A FEW words, but just not so smart words)

anyhow i'm so excited about starting a new blog
all thanks to my beloved STEL.
aight, ya'll see more of me!
i'll make an effort to raise some controversial issues or something (ugh).
till next time,
I LOVE hweesteltabJ
for helping me get through this -- you guys rock.

LOVE is walking hand-in-hand